Keeping Grief in Check
We sure hope our readers enjoy the spring weather and the rain, making everything super green and blossoming! Today we are joined by Barbara, a facilitator of a community called Griefshare at the Cornerstone church. Griefshare is a way for churches to help people that are going through grief to heal through small groups, to meet, share and learn from each other. This community has grown to be a place of support for people that have similar experiences. We were able to explore some of the things learned through the program and also hear more from Barbara!
Grief can be felt due to many reasons, however, today we will focus on dealing with grief after the loss of a loved one. As we move through life, community is what helps us through and helps us get by. Listen to the full podcast on keeping grief in check or keep reading to read more.
Barbara shared her story and what drove her to start Griefshare through her journey. Barbara experienced the loss of her mother and best friend in June 2009, her father in January 2010, and her brother in April 2010 tragically to suicide. She experienced all of this in a space of nine months. In an attempt to avoid the process of grief, she became excessively busy for the next 6 years. This resulted and manifested itself in what is known in the grieving process as an ambush. Barbara fell into a deep heavy and all-encompassing sadness, which resulted in a constant and uncontrollable flow of tears.
One of Barbara’s dear friends who had also lost her eldest son a year earlier, signed the both of them up for grief share in 2016. Barbara has now been facilitating this program for the past seven years. Barbara shared more on Griefshare, why people get involved, and what goals they share and hope people will walk away with from being a part of this community.
The need for support and godly counsel received through a program like Griefshare has been instrumental in helping Barbara and many others come to where they are today. As impossible as it seems the GriefShare program’s objective is to carry us through the process from mourning to joy, using a video series by expert counselors, which then opens the gates to discussion and with a Bible-based foundation.
What do you say to somebody who wants to become part of the program, but is afraid of being vulnerable in front of others?
Barbara has come to realize that grief is a process and a journey. It can be compared to a roller coaster ride - it takes time, and should not be compared or quantified. The sense of loss never goes away but the ability to remember our loved ones, and the good time shared, often brings thoughts of unexpected joy.
One of the most important things learned in Griefshare is that if you do not know what to say to someone, you do not need to say anything at all. Being present and supportive, and offering the person a shoulder to lean on is all that matters. You are never pressured to talk and in fact, facilitators will explain the process beforehand so no one feels put on the spot. Once you sign up, it is only a $5 fee for the book and after that, you can attend any Griefshare program at any church.
We all know that grief has an enormous impact on our mental, physical, and emotional health. Especially with COVID, dealing with the pandemic, and senseless crime - how do we cope with grief?
We discussed the year of firsts can be very tough, as much as it is anticipated. Sometimes the second year or thereafter can be the hardest if one kept themselves busy during that first year. Grief never ends but it changes. It's the price of love. We have to realize that person was a gift to us, for a certain time.
People deal with loss in different ways. It’s important to not judge how people may deal with their loss, but show support in the best way you can. Some may immediately choose to go through the grieving process, whereas some may not want to process it immediately.
Grieving is an individualized journey. However, there are several factors that can affect how we each cope with grief. Some people may withdraw. Some people may want lots of people around them and would benefit from the community. Others may bury themselves in their job or career. However you may cope with grief, it is very important that you learn to give yourself permission to feel.
We definitely need to come to terms with our feelings and give ourselves the permission to feel and take care of our physical, mental, and emotional health. Reach out to a trusted friend because there is a lot of healing in sharing. Take part in community volunteering events or charity events. This can give you a sense of hope and receive healing in its own way. If you are in need of more help, please reach out for professional help. There is no shame in getting the help you need and not choosing to repress feelings.
Faith and a lot of prayers really help you to ease that burden that we carry. It is inevitable that at some point in time, we're all going to face loss and go through the journey of processing grief.
Having hope gives us the support we need. Grieving is a difficult process and is not something that goes away in one year or two. Through faith and prayers, healing does get easier as time goes on, but that doesn’t mean you don't have that immense feeling. With time you will be able to enjoy the memories more, see that person and be thankful for the gift of them in your life.
